I do not know what to write

I am catching up with posting online my articles.

The thing with the waking up in the morning was not yet perfect. I stayed in bed after waking up and again falling for a short time to sleep. Though finally I broke through the resistance and I got myself into doing breathing exercises. And now I am motivated to continue with them. At least for some time because I need to see whether I get any visible changes in my body in regards to tiredness and maybe I will be able to reduce my sleep hours naturally without forcing myself to it with the use of the alarm clock. Now I will give myself the permission to sleep as much as I need though I need to work on the point of getting out of bed immediately after waking up and not allowing myself to snooze.

Apart from this I see that the intensity of my work is reducing. I have more time for myself. But still I face the point of lagging behind with posing online my articles.

Apart from this there is a point of "conflict" with one of my friends. I become more and more aware of it when I see how differently we interpret certain situations in our life. You'll know... I call him one of my best friends but then these differences and also the point of not accepting my partner and literally being in conflict / war with her without really knowing her and only making the judgment based on the feelings ( "I feel like she is that and that etc. ) is bringing me to the point when I will most probably make the decision of stopping our friendship for some time ( at least some weeks ).

You'll see... I realise that new personal relationship in my life may cause me to fall into a trap of not seeing some issues while my friend - being outside - can see it objectively. And of course I understand his reaction because in a way he is supporting me through not supporting bullshit that I am getting myself into. But then there are also some points which indicate to me that this is my friend who got lost and he does not see the bullshit in his life. And thus my decision in regards to suspending my friendship is just to see without interruption what is really going on in here. If I make a mistake then I will see it much faster. And vice versa... if there are some points of ego within my friend then it will also come faster into the surface while keeping distance from each other.

I do not judge my friend for his behaviour. I simply try to find the best constructive solution to the situation. And so far I could not find it through conversation and communication. So I will allow myself to take the distance from my friend and see how it goes. I am not afraid to make a mistake. When I see it clearly then I will correct it.


Written: 2017 - March - 15   Published: 2017 - August - 24      © Copyright - Greg Wiater