I am catching up with posting online my articles.
That is very interesting to see within myself but I do not have the desire for relationship. I say that it is interesting because for bigger part of my life so far I was desperate ( and I could even say that I literally begged ) for having partner and relationship. Today I am alone and I am perfectly fine. As matter of fact I would need to kind of push and force myself into relationship.
So what has happened so that I don't have this desire for relationship anymore ?
Well... there are few things which contributed to this change:
1. Bad experiences. I was in involved in couple of relationships in my life but even though I believed that I met my soulmate I did not find love and joy in it but instead I was faced with problems, arguments, judgements, fights etc. Thus after I had to go through the same shit all the time I have decided that I do not really want to have relationship anymore. I realise that life on this planet is not like a fairy tale from the books which my mother used to read me before going to bed and there are problems/challenges ( and there is also miscommunication which leads to unnecessary problems ) and we need to know how to solve them efficiently or otherwise these problems accumulate and once it becomes overwhelming then the relationship converts into hell.
2. It is also interesting to see that my desire for relationship has stopped at the same time when I started to work on my desire for sex. This did not happen in one day ( as a matter of facts it took me about 3 years ) but eventually I stopped masturbation while watching porn and now I am free from it. And this change within myself and with masturbation has changed how I approach the thing with having relationship with another person. You'll know... desire for sex is no more the directive principle for desperate search for a partner.
To be continued