Justifying shouting in anger because somebody pissed me off

This is the continuation of the previous article:


The practice of shouting at others is very common especially between people who have known each other already for some time - family, work, friends etc. If we don't know somebody well then we usually tend to suppress this kind of reaction although not always.

It is interesting that almost always people who shout justify it by explaining that the other person has pissed them off. Whatever is the justification or reason for the shouting in anger, in the end it is the form of abuse. If we could somehow define it by its intensity of abuse it is possibly few notches down from physical abuse. But it quite often accompanies the physical abuse or it is the "foreplay" before the total explosion and physical abuse of another being.

As I said before it is a form of abuse and for those who don't understand it and defend themselves by explaining that the other person has pissed them off I will give now an example which hopefully will help you to understand it better.

Listen... let's say that you have pissed off somebody and that somebody is stronger then you and he comes to you and beats you up and you end up in the hospital. And in some extreme cases some people would even kill you for pissing them off. It is not just the story from the film. It happens in real life. It is that some people are completely possessed by the anger and don't control it and if it happens that you pissed them off they are able to beat you up or even kill you. And you know what ? They will justify it to other people or to the judge in the court by saying that you have pissed them off. For them this is completely normal reaction and maybe they see it as wrong but again they will justify it with the same argument that you pissed them off.

Usually for this type of person it will be difficult to understand in that moment that they have the problem within them and they must stop it within themselves. You may try to talk to them and send them to the psychologist but in most cases it will take time before they fully understand it and stop it within themselves. They must realize that it is not about other people not pissing them off but it is about them finding different ways of dealing with people who try to piss them off. They have allowed to be possessed by the anger and they must stop this possession within themselves.

Thus to all off you who justify shouting in anger at other people who apparently piss you off. Try to flip the coin. I am certain that you would not like that somebody beats the shit out of you because you pissed them off. And you would not even comprehend how could somebody get pissed off with such a small thing and to the point that he beats you up or kills you. According to you, his reaction would be completely exaggerated but unfortunately to you he was stronger and according to him, his reason for beating you up was big enough and you should be lucky that he didn't punish you even more because you deserved it.

Now... the point is that you would not like to be on the other side - being abused. Thus stop abusing others. Shouting in anger is abuse. There is no justification for it. And I guarantee you that there are different ways of dealing with the whole situation in a peaceful manner. But first you must take full responsibility for the whole situation and learn not to fall into the automatic reaction of anger which you have programmed into you. I did not program it into you. And even if it was me it was you who allowed it. You must stop it within you. Blaming others that they pissed you off is just an excuse not to look at yourself and change yourself. It is a way to stay the way you are, which is fucked up because you abuse others and you allow abuse in the world.

Do you know how ?

Because you will let others do the same as you do - your friends, family etc. You will not face them, you will not challenge them on this point because you have not faced yourself.

To be continued...



Published: 2013 - March - 04      © Copyright 2012 - Greg Wiater