Repeating patterns in the relationships

Pattern is something that repeats itself. The pattern doesn't apply only to the graphical pattern but we can also identify certain patterns in the relationships and in the behavior of people. And the best example that illustrates it is when a frustrated person says: "why the hell all my partners are always the same ( we refer here to certain behaviors or/and characters ) ?". The answer to this question is obvious once you look at it from the outside because we know that all of these f..ked up partners appear in the life of that person because this person has unresolved issues inside of him/herself and the outside world is mirroring to that person what is inside of him/her. But when you are inside and involved into the whole situation then you quite often don't see it and it seems to you that everybody else ( your partners ) are taking advantage of you and you feel hurt. Simply speaking you are a victim.

As I said it is rather not easy to see the play-out of the patterns within your relationship but still it is possible to identify them if you dedicate time to it and learn how to do it.

And this is what has happened to me today. I have recognized a certain pattern in my life and I now I have a chance to stop it. Some time ago I was involved into a play-out of a pattern with 2 other persons. I have not seen it at that time as a pattern, I ended up as a victim being hurt and as a result of it our ways have separated and we have not spoken with each other for some time. Now we have started to communicate again. And it all seems to be fine because the "old wounds have healed" but there is a "but" to this whole story. I have changed and I have applied certain corrections in my life after the whole situation which happened in the past. Apart from that this time I am not engaged and involved fully inside of it. Thus I can see things differently and with more clarity. And thus I see how the old pattern starts to develop again. At first it may seem that the situation is different because the people have changed. I mean there are 2 people from the past and there is 1 new person involved. Well... I guess this new person doesn't know yet that he is going to be involved into this whole mind pattern formation. Anyway I see that this 3rd person is having a very similar character and personality to the other person from the past and that means that the whole pattern is trying to play-out again - different people but the same screenplay.

Now... I start to see the development of that pattern and I see how I am being "invited" to participate in it. I am aware of it and thus I can make a choice if I want to participate in it. But if I participate in it I already know what kind of consequences I can expect from it. It has happened before few times and it will happen this time again.

And thus my decision is not to participate in this pattern.



Published: 2013 - February - 18      © Copyright 2012 - Greg Wiater