Mountain of problems within the relationship

I went with 3 of my friends to the beach the other day. 2 of them have been together in the relationship already for more then 4 years. We were there enjoying ourselves and having a normal conversation, joking about things etc. Suddenly the girl started to cry out of nothing. In the beginning I thought that this is also a joke but then I realized that she is crying for real. I started to talk with her on the side and asked her about what is happening. She told me about her problems within her relationship. I didn't need to listen to the whole story because I understood quickly her position within her relationship - she was facing the mountains of unresolved and accumulating problems within her relationship with her partner. And she was on the edge ( critical point ) where one joke was enough to activate the tears because she couldn't bear anymore the weight of the unresolved problems and issues within her relationship.

Now... this is a typical situation for so many couples which brings the whole relationship to the end. And even the relationships of this so called great love end up in this way and nothing can stop it from falling down unless both partners work effectively on solving the daily challenges and problems. Because sooner or later there comes a point when you cannot bear and stand anymore the voice, the touch and the presence of your loved one because he/she is activating and bringing to the surface all of the problems which have been accumulating for some time and you can simply not take it anymore. It doesn't matter that you have promised to love you partner for the rest of your life and be together in the good and the bad.

In reality it has nothing to do with the partner because he/she is the mirror which reflects the dynamics and problems inside of you and inside of the relationship between both of you. But we tend to take it all personally and judge and blame our partner for the problems without realizing that "it takes 2 to tango". There is always the dynamic of the polarities and involvement of 2 partners in creating and participating in it.

To be continued...



Published: 2012 - November - 01      © Copyright 2012 - Greg Wiater