I am catching up with posting online my articles.
As planned I did not do any work with the clients. Though I had a business related appointment which took almost whole afternoon. Well... this is part of my big project and it needs to be done.
This morning I woke up with the thought of what I did last night ( masturbation and watching porn ). I noticed that the normal tendency/program in my mind would be judging myself and feeling bad about it. But then I stopped. This judgment of what I did in the past does not allow me to wake up fresh and live in the moment. WOW... that was something really interesting. If I start to feel bad of what I did last night then I can do so but in the end it is my decision to feel bad. I am literally creating my day. Well... at least some time of the day when I feel bad. And basically I can feel bad as long as I decide to do so. Although normally I did not see it from this perspective but then this is actually the way I described it. And thus I do not need to feel bad about it and allow myself to live in the moment of waking up in the new day.
That was really cool realisation. But still I want to make clear that although I do not feel bad about watching porn last night and masturbating there is still the point that watching on internet films with people having sex carry the point of abuse and I participate in it.
Apart from this I had another interesting realisation. Thus this business meeting forced me to get dressed differently and then I had to make sure that I am perceived as a confident businessman negotiating the deal. And in reality I never saw myself in my mind in this way. Basically I see myself as a therapist offering my services to people. And so I started to realise that there is nothing that stops me from being a businessman on a big scale. But to do so I need to see myself as that and not limit myself just to therapist working with individual clients.
And again I say WOOOW... this is another incredibly interesting realisation.