I am catching up with posting online my articles.
I just talked on the phone and it came up that she holds some ideas about me in her mind for about 15 or more years. I explained that this is not true but she completely rejects it because she feels the other way. We explained her already ones that her ideas are not true. But now seeing that she holds on to it and she insists that it is this way then I let her keep it but away from me. I do not see any sense in keeping a contact with her if she has those ideas and is not open to discuss and find the source of it. At the moment her emotional reaction indicates that she just wants to bee right so I let her be right in her own queendom. She has the right to think whatever she wants.
Today there was something that I wanted to write about but now I do not remember.
Today I decided to sleep more during the day. I tried it before and it helped me to bring calmness and peace into my being. So I did it again. And it happened just that.
No exercises today. I planned to do some intensive exercises this month but I do not see that I follow this plan. I do exercises and I am much stronger but I do not follow my plan.
Here it is. I remember now what I wanted to write about. Thus I was asking myself if there is a way of doing exercises and bring my body to the shape that I want it to be but without having to struggle with my mind and whatever it is that is resisting it. Why it is so difficult to do the exercises. And why do I have to do it every day or otherwise I lose relatively quickly what I achieved with weeks of hard work ? Why do I have to have pains in my body after doing exercises ?
Why ? Why ? Why ?