I do not know what to write

I am catching up with posting online my articles.

I do not know what to say. I had a day of struggle within myself. The point is that I want to stop with my older patterns and create a new change but the patterns are fighting for survival and they are asking for my attention. But I do not want to do the same thing time after time. In any case these patterns were form of abuse to myself and others ( e.g. watching porn and masturbation ) so I want and I need to stop it. And so I do. Though this process of stopping myself is a little bit rough. I know so I just hold on and it will disappear once I stop giving it my power and energy to fuel its existence in my life.

These old patterns call desperately for attention and I do not feel like doing any other things. But I do. I push myself to do something constructive, productive and positive in my life. And the logic is that once I do only constructive things in my life then there will be no place for destructive things and patterns.

Today I was asking myself about what happened with the happiness that I wrote about few days ago. It was not there. I could not see it. But pushed myself to do the constructive things around the house. I went to the gym and I did not do silly things to fuel my old patterns. And in the evening I started to smile to myself. And I felt happiness again.

So the key to happiness is simple. It is a natural consequence of stopping destructive patterns and doing constructive and positive things in life.


Written: 2018 - August - 31   Published: 2019 - February - 15      © Copyright - Greg Wiater