I do not know what to write

I am catching up with posting online my articles.

And again I repeat the same story as the night before. I lied in bed and I fell asleep. I don't have this calmness and stability in my mind as I wrote 3 or 4 days ago. One of the main reason is that I was playing game on the computer and I lost my awareness of breath. And then I did less meditation and mental exercises.

Now... what was interesting is that I did not allow myself to fall into the feeling bad or guilty that I lost my focus and I started to play game too much. When I stopped with the game I went straight away into doing my exercises 100%. This is something new that I am learning and applying in my life. When I make a mistake I do not fall into the guilt pattern but still I do not want to repeat the same mistakes time after time.

Another point that I am investigating is being free from work ( I have very little work and responsibilities right now ) gives me the opportunity to see myself how I manage my time. And I have to say that it is a challenge. It is not easy to just do nothing or doing something that is constructive to my goals and objectives ( I refer here to meditation ). Lately I have spent many hours doing my meditation and mental exercises and I make some progress but at the same time there is a pattern and tendency to fall back and fail. It is a challenge to be positive and focused on my goal all the time.


Written: 2018 - August - 07   Published: 2019 - February - 15      © Copyright - Greg Wiater