Seeing repeating patterns in the relationships

I am catching up with posting online my articles.

Today one of my friends ask me for help because his relationship started to turn into real shit. His phone call was kind of completely unexpected because last time I went to visit him few months ago I realized that I am not really welcomed at his place. Anyway today I went to see him because he asked me for help. It did not surprise me that he wanted to tell me all his details about it to prove that he is the good guy and that he is being a victim etc.

Now... I realized very quickly that his situation has turned up really nasty. But at the same time I was not surprised at all. In reality it was really boring to listen to his story and at some point I told him directly that I don't want to hear it anymore.


Does it mean that I am not a good friend because I do not listen to him ? ... because this is what many people think what good friends should do.

Well... I don't care whether somebody defines me as good friend or not. I know one thing. I was bored because I could see the general mind pattern behind it. I did not need to know all the details. I saw the mind pattern. And it was the same mind pattern which I experienced myself and which I saw in many other relationships of other people. And you'll know... there comes a point when you are simply bored to see and hear the same thing time after time. Some details are different but the mind pattern is the same. And this I why I have cut off my friend couple of times when he tried to tell me every single detail of his story.

One more important point within this whole situation... I remember the point when I talked with my friend about 1 year ago and I saw the beginning of this pattern. I tried to assist him then and make him to look at what is happening with the help of the pen and piece of paper. Obviously he did not comprehend it at that time and he needed to experience it for himself. And at some point he actually "removed" me from his friends because I was danger for his developing pattern and his ego. What I mean here is that he got possessed by his pattern and this pattern "pushed" me away so that I don't interfere with it.

Now... although it is boring to see the same and annoying mind pattern messing up with people's lives it is not boring at all to help and assist these people. But there is one condition within this help. I need to see, hear, feel and perceive that the person is interested in real change instead of using me to get some fresh air and later dive back into the shit hole. I am here to assist. And I am capable of doing it because I have learned how to free myself from this pattern. But I am not to clean that shit for you. I am not to be used and abused to clean your shit. I am not here to be pulled into the shit hole either. I am here to assists you and show you that it is possible to free yourself from it.

You can do the same. Free yourself first because only then you will be able to help and assist others. Free yourself first because only then you will be the example for others.


Written: 2014 - September - 25   Published: 2014 - November - 07      © Copyright 2014 - Greg Wiater