I am catching up with posting online my articles.
Today I went to get my haircut and during my visit my hairdresser started to talk about our common friend who got really fucked up because he got addicted to drugs. We don't really know what is happening with him anymore because he cut the contact with us for no obvious reason and disappeared.
Anyway then we also started to talk about other people with the same problem and the story looks pretty much always the same - they are not responsible, they lie and cheat to everybody around to get attention, mercy and money for drugs ( including their best friends, partners and family ) and it is basically the matter of time when you will become the next victim of their addiction. And that simply means that that at the least worst case scenario you will never see the money, which they borrowed from you. You'll know... they are or rather you think that they still are your best friends and thus you give them the money to help them but the statistics show that they will fail. It is just a matter of time and you will pay for it.
So how should we approach this situation ?
Well... the rule number one is that you may not - or rather we should say you must not - trust people who are addicted to drugs, alcohol and any other strong addictive substances. It does not matter that they are your best friends, loved ones etc. If they are not ready and if they don't show that they are dealing effectively with their addiction than the chance that they will fail is too high.
And what does it mean that somebody is dealing effectively with his/her addiction ?
From experience which I have gained through living and observing addiction of my father and then investigating thoroughly this topic from psychology point of view I realised that effective dealing with addiction means that there are no half way solutions/measures and techniques and the person must leave and stop taking the substance right in the moment ( not even tomorrow ) and the decision about doing it must be absolute and definite. In some extreme cases there may be needed medical intervention because of the strong intoxication but after the critic moments pass the decision must be followed and held steady.
Do not hope. Do not pray. Do not fall for their beautiful words stating that they really want to stop it, that they need some time, that they need to stop it gradually etc. Do not try to do things for them. It has been proven that it does not work. They must undo the shit which they have created for themselves and they can only do it with absolute and definite self-discipline and dedication. You may show them what they can do if you really know how to deal effectively with the addiction yourself. Otherwise your task is to be really careful with them and not depend on them because as I said before they will fail you and it is just matter of time.