I am catching up with posting online my articles.

Thus let's have a look at the point about how to solve effectively and constructively the problems in marriage.

The best would be if both partners work on the problems together. But at the same time it is very common that one of the partners doesn't want or is not aware in the same moment of the problem and then there is a difficult situation when there may arise friction and conflict. It is because one of the partners has already changed and the other is still stuck behind and this may create friction. Anyway the thing is that if both of the partners are aware of the problem then they should be working on solving it. But in the case when only one person is aware of it then s/he should not stop and wait for the other person to see the problem but instead s/he should do all possible to stop co-creating it because this will also give a chance for the other partner to start seeing the problem. And this is the first important point when it comes to solving the problems in the marriage.

The second point is that many of the problems in the marriage have been co-created by both partners and thus there is no point in trying to blame the other partner ( even though it looks so at first ) and instead really introspect and investigate how myself have also been participating and co-creating it. Thus it is extremely important to take self-responsibility and then solve it as you as the creator of it.

The third point... once you identify your problems then make a plan on how you will solve it and prevent it. I know that it may sound strange but this is the way to go. Making a plan on the piece of paper will help greatly because it will make easier to identify the trigger points when the problem start to grow and in this way you will be able to stop it and prevent it.

Now... no matter how great you love for your partner is and no matter how great his/her love for you is, your hope and your love will not stop the fall of your relationship and marriage ( it is just a matter of time and how much suffering can you take ) if both of you don't work and don't solve the problems effectively. Have a look around... there is so many marriages and broken relationships despite the fact that at some point both partners got together and they promised and sworn that they would love their partner for ever no matter what. And now they are at the point where they hate each other and literally they cannot stand the presence of their partner. Yes... this is very common... and as I said before it is happening despite the fact that both partners loved each other with this great love. You'll see... maybe this love still exists but it is buried under the mountain of unresolved issues and problems and that is why the marriage falls apart. Thus do not hope that everything will be ok one day. Use common sense and be practical in solving the problems or otherwise prepare yourself for the end of your relationship because it is only a matter of time for the break. Or if you don't break with your partner then you will laugh at and you will be making nasty jokes about your wife/husband.

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