I am catching up with posting online my articles.
From time to time I hear my friend or friends saying to me: "You don't love me anymore !". At the moment I am not in a relationship but I heard the same words from my girlfriend in the past. And there were moments when I was reacting to these words and I was trying to prove that these words are not true by doing something to please my partner or friend. But with the time I have realised that this is a trap.
What do I mean here by saying trap ?
I mean that this is a sabotage set up to stop me from changing and getting me back into the "old me" ( the old personality ).
So what is happing here ?
When I form a relationship or friendship with another person then this person and myself load, create and build a memories of another person's personality within our minds. And these memories ( includes behaviours, the look, the way of speaking etc. ) are images of a personality of another person. And because this personality of another person is compatible with our own then this person is either our friend or partner.
Now... no matter how beautiful these images ( memories ) are, in the end they are just frozen images of the personality from the past and they are not real although to us they seem to be very real. And this is how we get fooled by believing that this personality is the real person but in the end it just our own belief.
But the things start to become interesting when one person within this relationship starts to change because then the behaviour, words, the look etc. do not correspond anymore with the images of that person's personality captures and stored within our mind. And then if we do not realise it then we will have the sensation and the feeling of being left out and not being loved anymore.
But in reality this is not true at all. Once somebody starts to discard the illusions about him/herself and s/he starts to change for real then this person wants that you do exactly the same. S/he wants that you discard the illusions and also change. The love of this person towards you doesn't change at all. All that is happening here is that you got hooked up on the old memories of this person and its personality from the past and it is you who don't want to change. And instead you want this person to bring this person back so that s/he fits into the images which are stored within my own mind. And you try to do it by saying: "you don't love me anymore".
Now... how to deal practically with this situation ?
It really depends on every person. But one thing is for sure. I do not react to this words and I do not try to prove my love. Instead I look what is best for all and act accordingly. And sometimes I even stop contact with that person. But it is not because I do not love this person anymore. I know that it looks like this and then I am being labeled as egoist but this is not the case. I simply wait until I see that I can support effectively this person to realise what I have realised through my own change.