Catching up with posting online my articles because of being fed up with the working on the computer. I am witting my articles every day as part of my commitment... just posting is lagging...
Today I have talked with my friends and it came up that they are also living this up and down pattern. And this is why I have decided to write something more about it. This time it is related to computers and because we live in the era of computers thus this pattern is very common.
Thus I have noticed that when I work on the computer - especially working on a certain project - I have a tendency to work long hours and disregard the needs of my body. The concept behind is that I want to finish my project as soon as possible and this idea possesses me so much that I skip the meals and I push myself to work many hours despite being tired and literally exhausted. And I can work like this for some time but in the end there comes a time when my motivation burns out and I start to break down.
And obviously this is another destructive element which is part of my up and down pattern. But this is not all because here comes a phase of being tired but still I am spending many hours doing silly and unproductive things on the computer instead of focusing on my work and later having a rest and recuperate my body. In the past within these silly things there was masturbation while watching porn and lately I have got myself a little bit into playing video games.
Thus doing these silly and unproductive things gets me further into the point of exhaustion and being completely fed up with the computer and thus completing my whole pattern which I have been repeating for a very long time.
This is all very interesting to see. As I have said I am in the process of stopping this pattern and applying corrections which will allow me to more balanced and stable life without going into the ups and downs.
To be continued...