Personal Apocalypse

This is the continuation of the previous article:


Within this whole conflict yesterday there was one prominent point of raising the voice and use of the anger to convince/force the other side to do what the first person wanted to communicate. This sounds too complicated the way I wrote so I will rephrase it - my friend was raising the voice and shouting at me to get his point.

I have just realized one thing. Whenever we get pissed off and frustrated because it seems that the other person doesn't understand us/gets our point we have a tendency to raise the voice and become angry. Most of the time we justify it and we find an excuse ( within our mind ) which gives a "right" to do it ( for example my friend said that he is human and it was normal for him to get angry ). But raising the voice and becoming angry gets actually the opposite result to the desired one. And this is what I have observed yesterday and on other occasions. First of all I did not want to participate in the communication with my friend unless he stops shouting. I asked him few times to stop the shouting and talk to me normal but because he was not willing to do so, thus I have eventually cut him off and I have left. This has pissed him off even more ( as he explained later ) but this is the confirmation that instead of finding ways to communicate effectively we have completely cut the communication ( and this is the opposite of what he wanted to achieve ). Secondly... while I was still working with him I was doing things "bad" because I didn't "understand" ( I have interpreted wrongly ) what he want me to do. And again we have got the opposite result to the desired one.

So you see... we raise the voice because we think that this is the only way that people can understand us but in the end this brings the opposite results to what we want to achieve. When I reflect I can see that I was personally involved in this type of situations and the results were almost always the same - bad communication and further misinterpretation.



Published: 2013 - February - 28      © Copyright 2012 - Greg Wiater