I didn't have access to internet yesterday thus I am posting my article today.

This is the continuation of the previous article:

ABOUT GIVING AND RECEIVING - PART 1

Thus as you can see from the previous article I have created an imbalance within my life of giving and receiving which obviously has many consequences of which I will write later. It all comes from the point that I am becoming what I believe and I project it on the outside and the outside will reflect it back to me.

Believing that giving is more and better then receiving makes me to avoid intentionally situations in which somebody would give me something because according to the definition within my mind this would make me less. Receiving is less and that equals that I am also becoming less through the act of receiving. It is all defining myself within my mind through all the definitions of what is less and more which goes along with the desire to be "more than". And the same is with asking somebody to give me something because this would also make me less - according to the definition within my mind.

And so I would give and give to the point of exhaustion ( because of the belief that this would make me more then ) and at the same time I would avoid the situations in which I could receive something - which further accelerates the exhaustion - until reaching a point of breakdown and becoming sick. Thus this is the part of the design of one of my personalities within my mind - personality of giver but not receiver. I have become one and equal to that personality and this is what I have created within my life.

Now... the outside world is the mirror reflection of what is inside of me. And thus should I be surprised that I will get myself into the situations which are exactly that which I have become ? Should I be surprised that I get myself into the situation when I work hard and I don't receive enough for my work ? Should I be surprised that my relationships with my partners, parents and friends have reflected exactly that ?

The answer is obvious and I should not be surprised. But unfortunately I was.

Why ?... simply because I was not aware of my creations. I have accepted and formed certain beliefs within my mind, I let them be there under the surface, I have become one with them and once I have become equal to them, I have started creating situations within my life which were refection of that. But because I have become one with them I have not seen it until the moment when it has become overwhelming, I could not stand it anymore and I started to ask myself question: "WTF ?". Of course in the beginning I felt hurt and I was looking for the cause and the explanation of the problem on the outside thinking and being certain that my friends, partners and family are to be blamed for it. But this is not how it works and eventually I got to the point when I started to see that it all comes from me. And now when I see it I have the great opportunity and chance to correct it.

Isn't that wonderful ? Now I can do something about. It doesn't mean that it will be easy but now I can make the change and before I couldn't because I thought that I was not capable and powerless.