A belief that you have done everything possible is an illusion. You just don't see or don't want to see your involvement into creation of the shit that is happening within your relationship and your world. If you have not created it, you have allowed it by not reacting and not correcting it at the moment when it first appeared and thus it can be always traced back to you and you are always responsible for that is happening in your world. I will give you one example. My father has been addicted to alcohol for many years and she had to go through all the pain and suffering as a result of it. Once she told me that there was a moment in the very beginning when she wanted to react but "for the sake of peace" ( out of fear ) she didn't do it. It was interesting to hear it because it confirmed that we are always responsible for all that is happening in our lives. And once it happens and you have to go through the series of painful consequences; some of them you can avoid, correct and change but some you have to walk until the end.
But if you don't understand it, you will not work on what can be changed and corrected and instead you will go into an attitude when you look at the grass on the other side of the fence. And you will be seeing only the positive without realizing that people put on the happy and perfect mask when they are in public and once they are at home they have to deal with all the shit just like you. I am not saying that it is always the case but in reality it happens quite often.
Of course there are also relationships which are perfect but if they are perfect it is because both partners have learned how to make it work. Of course they have to also go through the shit but they work with it as it appears, they solve it effectively and they don't allow it to grow and accumulate.
In reality it is all very simple but we make it all very complicated because we allow the problems to accumulate to the point when it seems that it is impossible to solve them. But again this is not true at all. It is just an illusion. There are some consequences which cannot be changed and we have to walk through them but the problems can be always solved. It is not easy but it is possible. And it is that most of us prefer to go the easy way and thus we prefer to look at the other side of the fence.
To be continued...