How to deal with addiction within the relationship

This is the continuation of the previous article:


Ok... next important point when living with the addict. When the person starts to be aggressive towards me and blames me for their problems and this repeats itself quite regularly then I am usually deciding to remove myself from this person's life. It is not done out of hatred or anger. I see that this person doesn't want my assistance with their problem and instead he is blaming me thus I simply let him deal with it on his own or with other people. I know that it may seem very egoistic to do it but it is not exactly as you think. I am not leaving this person for ever. I simply remove myself from their sphere of influence to stop their aggressive attacks on me. But at the same time I am ready to be back and assist that person whenever he is ready for it and if he needs my assistance at all because as I said before the chip is in the head of that person and in reality he doesn't need anybody to stop the addiction.

When making decision about leaving the person you must always decide it for yourself and look at what is best for all. Although the pattern that is playing out is very similar in almost every case - every situation and every person is different and thus you must assess it in the moment.

Now... leaving the addict on his own may signify that he will fall to the bottom real hard - he may loose the house and other possessions and end up on the street, he may loose health or even die. There is always a risk of it happening. Well.... heavy addiction always barriers the risk of death because it causes severe abuse and exhaustion of the body. But at the same time you should not be afraid to make this type of decisions leaving this person on his own may be the quickest and most effective way to learn how to deal with his problem. I have noticed that this people quite often need this shock of the hard fall because this opens their eyes for a moment and in this short moment they have a chance to do something with their addictions. This shock from the hard fall could be the moment of which I have talked in the previous article when I said that the addiction can be stopped in the moment but to get this point of realizing it, it may take long time and many hard falls. Thus don't be afraid of letting the other person to go through this shock. Don't be afraid to do it. Don't be afraid to leave your loved one on his own. He simply doesn't want to learn it the easy way when you tried to assist him so many times but he rejected you or even attacked you and blamed you for his problems. I have seen it many times not only with my father but also with other people. These people don't want to stop their addiction and you are real threat to them because you could show them how to change it. and this is the reason why they attack you even though you want to help them. They simply don't want your help. They may say that they want it but in reality they simply play the role of being a victim because they get some kind of energetic benefit from others.

The universal advice - that is always helpful - is to make decisions based on the principle of what is best for all in every moment of breath. I know that it may be difficult some time because you have to make the decision to leave your loved one and you don't know how it will end up for him. But if you really want to help him then make the decision that is best for all and then everything will correct and align itself accordingly.

To be continued...



Published: 2012 - September - 21      © Copyright 2012 - Greg Wiater