This is the continuation of the previous article about being anxious when judging other people.
Thus before I reach the moment when I start asking myself the question: "how this particular experience relates to me ?" I am becoming anxious and feel hurt sometimes. I look at the "outside"; I mean I look at the person who I am judging and I think about everything that he/she must do to change themselves and correct their mistake through which they hurt me or disappoint me.
Now... once I am becoming aware of psychology behind it all, I am simply laughing at myself and say: "how could I be so blind and miss this point ?". Instead of realizing that I am part and co-creator of this whole experience ( abuse cannot exist without the common agreement to take on the role of the abuser and somebody else must agree to be abused ) I go into the state of feeling hurt etc. and judging others.
And another funny part to it is that as long as I feel hurt, judge others or whatever else I feel in this moment, I give my energy to it and through this I continue creating it further. On top of this I insist that other person applies the correction in their behavior... hahaha. I see and understand now that every person - just like me - is in their own process and if they don't want to see the reality then it is almost impossible for anybody to make them see it. Thus whenever I analyze them and all their mistakes and insist that they must change ( and it is enough if I do it only in my mind ) then of course I start to feel anxious, hurt etc. because it is beyond my control.
To be continued...